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IN LIMBO ISSUE#54 US$4.15/CAN$5.15 |
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IN LIMBO ISSUE#54 US$4.15/CAN$5.15 |
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"Every great film should seem new every
time you see it."
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On two Saturdays in November, I tried to watch two different summer blockbusters, with very different results: GI Joe: From the film’s prologue, set in the 1600s and up to the ridiculous ice-sinking finale, I cringed every two seconds. I had rented it in a fit of affection for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, thinking he could never be in anything that was too bad. I was wrong. This is the worst movie you could possibly rent. Ever.
Star Trek (in the style of the Saturday Night Brooklyn Gang) Ship’s log, Saturday November 21, 2009, 9 o’clock-ish: Tonight I shall watch J.J. Abram’s Star Trek, despite having a lifelong aversion to Star Trek. Make it so. (right?)
*That chick with the eyes? In Clueless terms she would be a Picasso, right? *Glad to see that the Beastie Boys will last. *Winona you’re pretty, we miss you, come back. *Oh hi, Zachary Quinto. The ears are cute, the bowl haircut and the eyebrows not so much. (still, call me) *Saldana’s hot. I get why my brother is obsessed. *Oh, I get it. This Kirk kid is cocky. *Oh hi, Karl Urban! (call me) *Oh hi, Eric Bana. Um. You have something on your face. *Oh HIIIIIII Captain Kirk in underwear. *Okay no, really. I get it. He’s cocky. *Abrams alumni sighting 1: Rachel Nichols! Only greener and sexier. *Um. She said “aural sensitivity” right? *See, John Cho? The future isn’t written. You aren’t dead! You’re in the Starfleet! *Bird! You’re Russian! Really kind of badly Russian… Can you get me some meds? *It’s a comedy?!? Has Star Trek always been a comedy? Because that would explain so much. *I loved you in Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael! *Abrams alumni sighting 2: Hi Megan, what’s in your box?? *I get the feeling that Eric Bana has been displaced in time. I wonder how Rachel McAdams is doing. *I spaced out during the fight scene, but the cocky kid & Harold won. *Bird, I love you, but please stop talking with that accent. *Remember when you were in Reality Bites? Great times. Um. I hope you don’t mind my asking. If this is personal, please pay me no mind, but… why are you playing someone twice your age? *Spock & Uhura: boom chicka bom bom! *Okay no way that “Damn it man, I’m a doctor…” lines are anything less than campy. *Is Kirk on Hoth? I got distracted by a picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. *Holy Spock, Batman, it’s Spock! Like, the real one. On Hoth?!? *Red Matter = Big red ball from Alias? I’m calling it an unofficial Abrams alumni sighting. *Whoa. This is some serious DC Comics Multiverse shit up in here. It actually has a little Legion of Superheroes “Five Years Later” vibe. I kinda like this. *Oh hi Simon Pegg! You’re even hotter with the Scottish accent. (ring my mobile) *Beaming fail. Funny.
Ship’s Log, Saturday November 21, 2009, 11:15-ish: I actually really liked the movie. I applaud Abrams and company for making a movie honoring the established continuity of a series, while managing to forge a new beginning. It’s a fun ride, exactly the sort of film that summer movies typically promise, but never actually provide. PS I hope liking Star Trek makes up for me not liking Iron Man.
Rick@picturesandframesmagazine.com
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